I’ve been trying to comment on this for 20 minutes and it’s been hard because I have TOO much to say. You caught my attention with the post before this, talking about trying to build something in the window before your kid wakes up, sometimes that gives you 20 minutes other days thats 2 hours. I wrote my entire memoir manuscript in those windows and its brutal. Doing the same on here now.
But seriously, every pit of this post resonated and I wish I had found it a year ago. There are so many lines in here that just hit hard. Bringing up the fountainhead, the guy choosing the hardest road because everything else is settling.
Responsibility doesn’t shrink your ambition it sharpens it.
Not strategy, identity management dressed up as productivity.
The shift to constraints acting as design rules was great.
You could have just stopped there at good story, but your framework and conclusion provide insight that non-dads can grow from, and the ending is just a 10/10 landing. Casey, i’m excited to get to know the version of you that came out of this.
Jake, this is one of the most generous comments anyone’s ever left on something I’ve written. Thank you.
Those “before your kid wakes up” windows are brutal and weirdly sacred. Massive respect for getting an entire memoir draft out of them. Knowing you did that makes me feel slightly less unhinged for trying to build a different life out of the same 20–120 minute pockets.
You also handed me the clean version of what I’ve been stumbling toward: responsibility doesn’t shrink your ambition, it sharpens it. That’s exactly it. I may need to borrow that line (with credit).
Really appreciate you taking the time to write this out, especially given how scarce that time is. I’m keen to read that memoir when you’re ready to let it out into the world, and equally keen to get to know the version of you that came out the other side of your hardest-road years.
I've got to echo my man Jake here, this hits way too much for me, resonates like even a little too much.
I do most of my work after the kids are asleep and into the late hours of the morning instead of at before they wake up (except of course the days where I'd be up even past when they woke up).
We should jump on a call and compare notes, Jake and I had an awesome call last week, and going to try and jump on a live call this week (hopefully).
Powerful story and one I feel too deeply.
Especially becoming a dad - that sentiment you share, that was it, for me, exactly. Took a few hours for it to sink in, a couple days for me to come to grips with it, and made me realize what I could and should pursue, and what I should pivot away from.
Ahad, really appreciate you taking the time to write this out.
Those late-night sessions after the kids are down are the mirror image of my pre-dawn ones. Same obsession, just different end of the clock. It’s a brutal season and also somehow the most clarifying one.
That line about becoming a dad being the thing that made you realise what to pursue and what to pivot away from is exactly what I was trying to put language around. Responsibility didn’t kill the ambition for me either, it just forced a different filter… and I couldn’t be more grateful.
Would definitely be keen to compare notes at some point. Sounds like we’re running very similar experiments in slightly different time slots.
It is a false dichotomy! Being a good parent, I believe, requires being a whole person—balanced equally across the various areas of your life. This is the type of role model I’d like to be for my kids!
Thank you so much for sharing your story! You've had an eventful adventure to say the least! 🩷🦩Sometimes leadership is about saying no. Huge respect to you for the self-reflection and making the decision. We generally like to make to do lists, and bucket lists, but rarely let go of what doesn’t serve us anymore.
I’ve been trying to comment on this for 20 minutes and it’s been hard because I have TOO much to say. You caught my attention with the post before this, talking about trying to build something in the window before your kid wakes up, sometimes that gives you 20 minutes other days thats 2 hours. I wrote my entire memoir manuscript in those windows and its brutal. Doing the same on here now.
But seriously, every pit of this post resonated and I wish I had found it a year ago. There are so many lines in here that just hit hard. Bringing up the fountainhead, the guy choosing the hardest road because everything else is settling.
Responsibility doesn’t shrink your ambition it sharpens it.
Not strategy, identity management dressed up as productivity.
The shift to constraints acting as design rules was great.
You could have just stopped there at good story, but your framework and conclusion provide insight that non-dads can grow from, and the ending is just a 10/10 landing. Casey, i’m excited to get to know the version of you that came out of this.
Jake, this is one of the most generous comments anyone’s ever left on something I’ve written. Thank you.
Those “before your kid wakes up” windows are brutal and weirdly sacred. Massive respect for getting an entire memoir draft out of them. Knowing you did that makes me feel slightly less unhinged for trying to build a different life out of the same 20–120 minute pockets.
You also handed me the clean version of what I’ve been stumbling toward: responsibility doesn’t shrink your ambition, it sharpens it. That’s exactly it. I may need to borrow that line (with credit).
Really appreciate you taking the time to write this out, especially given how scarce that time is. I’m keen to read that memoir when you’re ready to let it out into the world, and equally keen to get to know the version of you that came out the other side of your hardest-road years.
I've got to echo my man Jake here, this hits way too much for me, resonates like even a little too much.
I do most of my work after the kids are asleep and into the late hours of the morning instead of at before they wake up (except of course the days where I'd be up even past when they woke up).
We should jump on a call and compare notes, Jake and I had an awesome call last week, and going to try and jump on a live call this week (hopefully).
Powerful story and one I feel too deeply.
Especially becoming a dad - that sentiment you share, that was it, for me, exactly. Took a few hours for it to sink in, a couple days for me to come to grips with it, and made me realize what I could and should pursue, and what I should pivot away from.
Ahad, really appreciate you taking the time to write this out.
Those late-night sessions after the kids are down are the mirror image of my pre-dawn ones. Same obsession, just different end of the clock. It’s a brutal season and also somehow the most clarifying one.
That line about becoming a dad being the thing that made you realise what to pursue and what to pivot away from is exactly what I was trying to put language around. Responsibility didn’t kill the ambition for me either, it just forced a different filter… and I couldn’t be more grateful.
Would definitely be keen to compare notes at some point. Sounds like we’re running very similar experiments in slightly different time slots.
Apologies for multipost, the android app is a bit wonky
We do have to grow in the direction of the sun, competing with whatever other priorities happen to surface.
I recently left startup-land because of the toll it was taking on my health.
Sometimes you have to listen to the universe.
A beautiful piece.
I found myself asking similar questions after my child was born.
Money and external validation became secondary.
Time is limited, and I have to choose how to spend it.
Do I focus on building memories with my child,
or do I justify endless work in the name of providing for them?
I’ve come to believe this is a false dichotomy.
Only memories aren’t enough.
Only money isn’t either.
My child has become an anchor—
a reference point that constantly asks
whether I’m balancing time, responsibility, and presence with honesty.
It is a false dichotomy! Being a good parent, I believe, requires being a whole person—balanced equally across the various areas of your life. This is the type of role model I’d like to be for my kids!
A brilliant read! Thank you for sharing
Thank you so much for sharing your story! You've had an eventful adventure to say the least! 🩷🦩Sometimes leadership is about saying no. Huge respect to you for the self-reflection and making the decision. We generally like to make to do lists, and bucket lists, but rarely let go of what doesn’t serve us anymore.
Thanks for your feedback, that means a lot! The cool part is realising that it wasn’t the end of the road